by Neal Lemery

We live in difficult times, but we have always struggled with difficult problems that defy easy solutions. This job often involves difficult and often conflicting conversations and involves our full range of emotions and problem-solving skills.
Difficult issues require diverse voices and a tapestry of perspectives and possible responses. They are the task of the whole village. There is often no quick and easy solution from the mind of one person.

We are all affected by a problem in many ways. For those of us who choose to be problem solvers, the answer is multifaceted and calls on each of us to do our part. We are reactive and we are mobilized. It is a work in progress.
“The goal of argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.” –Joseph Joubert
We each do our part. Yet I still want immediate solutions and overnight success. I am impatient. Political rancor and derisive commentary simply get in the way of me, preventing me from achieving the ultimate goals of seeking positive, meaningful, and lasting change.
Of course there is more we want to do, more we need to learn, more we need to change and build a stronger community. It’s not an easy job.
We persist. The lists of our solutions, how we respond to them and what we need to do are impressive. After all, Americans are “capable” people, builders and problem solvers.
Our collective ingenuity, work ethic and “build better” attitude have created a dynamic company rich in achievement and opportunity. Items crossed out on our to-do list are long, but so are items left unfinished. We continue to learn that when our responses are solution-focused, great progress can be made. In all this work, in all these challenges, I remain optimistic.
We have many tools. When we channel our individual concerns, anger, and willingness to tackle a difficult problem, our differences can be used as fuel for collaboration and advancing concrete steps toward researching and implementing some of our answers and towards solutions.
How do we do this work? One step at a time, one person at a time, with a wide range of voices and thoughts. Many members of the sobriety recovery community work the Twelve Steps and the “one day at a time” concept. We know this approach works. This attitude, this methodology has worked well for us in the past. It works well today and will serve us as we move forward.
What works is when we come together, share our ideas, collaborate and seek effective solutions. Together we know what works.
No one has a magic wand, a silver bullet, for our addiction crisis or other social problems that often seem huge and overwhelming. Topics may seem too vast, too complex, too painful for a simple solution. A solitary idea is not the “one size fits all” answer we hope to find. We know that causes are often deeply rooted within us as individuals, family members, and part of a complex and diverse society.
Yet we often minimize a person’s strength to make a difference, to express a kind and helpful idea or words, and to take a few steps in the right direction. A recent movie four good days, takes a personal look at one family’s struggle with addiction and recovery. It shows pain, struggle and hope. There is such amazing and life changing power in a person’s passion to change.
“Sometimes we can feel like we can’t do much as individuals; together we can make a difference. As individuals, we can influence our own families. Our families can influence our communities and our communities can influence our nations,” writes the Dalai Lama.
In this work of change, leaders emerge and inspire us. Leadership often arises unexpectedly, but often gives us surprisingly clear direction and hope.
Each of us makes a difference. I think we can agree that we want to move forward, move forward, find and implement measures that work. Using our energies of “disagreement” there is a lot of common ground. There is a development of a collective will to make a difference in order to move towards success. We agree more than we disagree on the fundamentals.
When we have these difficult conversations, perhaps we can see our differences as simply different perspectives, different experiences, and different elements of a collective response, and our collective strength. Such work taps into the richness, the viability of a diverse society, with varied responses to discover and implement.
find the common good should be our collective goal. We should not focus on our differences and instead use them to fuel the collective change needed.
“When one door closes, another opens. But so often we look so long and with so much regret at the closed door that we do not see the one that is open to us. -Alexander Graham Bell

Today I can change myself by doing something kind, thoughtful, and helpful. By listening, being considerate, being present and acting with the intention of doing good in the world, I can make a difference. Maybe that difference at first is just for me, but like a stone thrown into water, that kindness reverberates and can change my family, my neighborhood, my community, and the world. Think about the possibilities not just for you, but for all of us.
These are the tasks of each of us and of our community.